


All The Rage Back Home

by Zakodia



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018), Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Jaeger Pilots, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27708103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zakodia/pseuds/Zakodia
Summary: Thanatos is one of the best pilots to come out of the Jaeger Academy in recent memory. But Jaegers cannot run on one person alone, Thanatos needs to find his partner.Pacific Rim Jaeger Pilot AU
Relationships: Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter One

“That's a new record, boyo, impressive work I must say” Thanatos heard in his ear as the simulation ended.

A rail-thin man with unkempt black hair and a baggy jumpsuit approached Than as he took off his helmet. “The Marshall wants to see you, asap” he said, taking the helmet from Than’s hands. 

Thanatos silently handed the helmet over, deep in his own thoughts, why did the Marshal want to see him? 

“Thanks Skelly” he replied as the man walked away suddenly remembering he was still there.

“No problem, boyo” the man shouted back. 

Thanatos stuck his hands into the pockets of his black jeans and kept his head down as he headed towards the Marshal’s office. He could not figure out why he had suddenly been summoned. His simulations were above average, he had worked himself to death on the Jager restoration and attended all his sparring lessons. He had done nothing out of the ordinary to attract attention and he knew the Marshal only called on those that stepped out of line. He had other reasons for skirting around the Marshal, but those were not common knowledge and the fact that Thanatos knew at all made him a target. 

He knocked on the door. 

  
“Come in” called the gruff voice inside

“Ah, Thanatos, I was expecting you, please sit” he gestured towards a chair as Thanatos entered. Marshal Hades was an imposing man, his bulk almost blocking the sun out behind him. He had been one of the first pilots, rumor was he had fought with his brothers who then had all but abandoned the war efforts, leaving him behind. Thanatos took his hand from his pockets and tried to sit still as they faced each other. 

“What would you like to speak to me about sir?” 

Hades leaned forward and Thanatos caught a glimpse of his file on the desk. 

“Thanatos, I see you have been reluctant to take the drift compatibility tests set up for you” 

Thanatos exhaled slowly, so this was what it was about, of course. 

“Sir, my compatibility score is low, I-” it was an excuse, they both knew the real answer, but Thanatos felt like he had to say  _ something _ . 

The chair grinded as Hades stood up, interrupting Than mid sentence. He scooted backwards on instinct, but Hades turned towards the window overlooking the sea. 

“I recognize what happened at the Academy, Thanatos, but you are an officer now”

“But sir, I’ve been working on—” Thanatos knew he shouldn’t interrupt but Hades had hit a nerve he couldn't’ stop.

“Silence!” Hades barked, and Thanatos slunk back in his chair.

“I am building Jagers faster than I can replace pilots and I need every qualified pilot I can get. You, Thanatos are a more than capable pilot. It’s been almost a year, you must find a new partner. I don’t care about the Academy or the scores, you will take the compatibility tests, or you will find a new place to live” 

“Yes sir” Thanatos barely mumbled

“What did you say?” Hades turned to face him, expressionless.

“Yes sir!” he stood up and saluted for good measure, and immediately walked out.

He stood in the hallway in a daze as people rushed around, not sure what to do next. The Marshal had caught him off guard, he hoped his performance on the restorations was enough to ignore the tests piling up in the last few months. He had made a new path for himself, one that didn’t require a partner. 

He tried to head back to his room, tears stinging at the corner of his eyes, but his mother caught him first. 

Nyx was the head officer of the Shatterdome under Marshal Hades, so she must have known of their conversation and had been waiting to catch Thanatos after. Techs scattered away in the hall as she approached, an imposing figure herself. Forgoing the traditional military uniforms for a flowing dress of black and purple, large gold earrings and deep dark eyes she made quite the impression. 

“You are troubled” she said softly as she guided him by the arm towards her room. He merely nodded in response, not trusting his voice to not crack. 

He flopped down into one of her huge chairs as she started preparing tea. He loved being in here. She had covered the walls in dark curtains to cover up the metal with small twinkling lights and the huge plush chairs, you could almost forget they lived in a military base. As children they had moved from Shatterdome to Shatterdome as Nyx was reassigned. But his mother had a way of making every place feel as cozy as a home. 

She brought him her special fragrant tea and he appreciated its warmth, soothing him immensely. They sat in silence for a few minutes as was their custom, Nyx recognized Thanatos needed time to collect his thoughts. 

“How have you been Mother? We hardly see each other anymore”

She sighed, “busier than ever, you should check on Hypnos more often, he misses you”

Thanatos made a mental note to try and see his brother in the mess, maybe he could help him with work. 

“And Charon?” 

Nyx smiled into her tea, “I suspect he is busier than usual as well with his “business”’ Than chuckled as well, they both knew Charon’s true love was money and right now money was in kaiju parts. In a few years it would be something else and he would change his business as he always did. 

“You spoke with Hades?”

“Yes” he replied, taking another sip of tea, trying to stay calm, he knew this wasn’t just a personal visit. 

“He would like you to find another partner?”

Thanatos sighed and put down his cup, leaning back in frustration. “Mother why can’t I continue my work? I am one of the best engineers we have and I am working myself to death to prove it”

She sat in the silence for a moment sipping her tea, much to Thanatos’ annoyance. 

“Asterius predicts the kaiju are going to start arriving quicker than ever before. It is not common knowledge however” 

“But I am still contributing, I am doing work that would take five people to replace!” 

She sighed gently, her tea cup clinking against the saucer 

“My child, I know this has been difficult for you, and I have held out as long as I could, but I believe you must let him go”

“I can’t, there’s— there’s no one else Mother, you must know this” he stood up quickly, he could not stand to hear this speech twice in a row.

“You must try”

Thanatos didn’t respond, already halfway through the door, he resisted the urge to slam it. He knew his mother was doing her best, but right now he couldn’t stand it. 

He headed back to his own room finally, not wishing to hear anyone else’s advice. He fell face first on the pillow and let out a small scream. Wasn’t throwing himself into work letting go? He had accepted he would never be a pilot if he couldn’t have his partner back. Why couldn’t anyone else see that, he didn’t care about how great his simulator scores were or his improvement in sparring, it meant nothing. He knew things had been dark at the Academy, but that wasn’t him anymore, he had picked himself back up. He didn’t want to be the pilot everyone wanted him to be. He screamed in the pillow until he was out of breath and rolled over to stare at the cold grey ceiling until he drifted off. Maybe he wasn’t coming back, maybe it was for the best. 

  
  


The pounding knock on the door woke Thanatos up, he groaned looking at the clock, it had to be Megara, he’d missed their usual training time. He looked around disoriented, he had fallen asleep in his clothes. He decided to answer the door first, Megara was not one to give up quickly. 

“Oh” she scrunched up her face as Thanatos answered the door, “you look like shit” Thanatos merely nodded, he felt like shit, “Coffee? Protein Bar?” she offered cheerfully pushing the cup and bar into Thanatos’ hand. He accepted it gratefully, PPDC issue, tasted awful but got the job done. “I’ll uh give you a few minutes, I’ll be in the training room” she walked away before Than could answer, ponytail swishing behind her. 

A year ahead of him at the Academy, Than considered Megara his closest friend. He wasn’t the most personable type but Megara had respected that and made friends mostly through actions and not words. 

He downed the coffee, showered and changed clothes, eager to try and put yesterday behind him. Unfortunately, the Marshal and Nyx’s voices still echoed in his head despite his attempt at a good mood. He had luckily been given a one day reprieve on the drift compatibility tests to finish up his other work. 

When he met Megara in the training room, he looked less like shit, but still felt like it. 

She tossed him a stick and they bowed towards each other from each end of the mat. He ran towards her with all his emotions in tow. This was not usually how he sparred, he usually waited and watched for a weakness, but today felt different. 

“You’re angry” she said moving easily out of the way

“And what about it?” Thanatos gasped as he ducked to avoid Meg’s staff, she caught him on the top of the shoulder anyways. 

“One-zero, focus Than” he gritted his teeth and tried to catch her off guard and was given a face to the mat for his efforts.

“Two-zero” she said cooly waiting for Thanatos to get up. 

He tried to clear his mind as he got up, not let his anger consume him. He patiently waited for an opening as Megara attacked, he found it and struck. “Two-one” 

Megara smiled, ponytail swishing through the air as she avoided Than’s follow-up, “now there’s the Thanatos I used to know” 

Their staffs met in the middle as each one tried to push the other off balance,    
  


“Is this about Za—” 

Thanatos pushed away, he could barely stand to hear the name anymore. He walked off the mat, willing to let Megara win this time.

“I don’t want to talk about it” he said, sitting down on the bench head in his hands. 

She sat down on the bench next to him, patiently waiting for him to say something. She knew he couldn’t resist letting it out at some point. 

“He’s not coming back is he?” Than said after a long silence.

“Maybe, maybe not” Megara shrugged, she continued “Than he’s holding you back and he’s not even here” 

“Why does everyone care so much?” he muttered, he wasn’t used to anyone being this involved in his affairs. 

“Some people care because you’re the best pilot out of the new class, I care because you’re hurt and I can’t stand to see it” 

Thanatos huffed at that, he didn’t need anyone’s pity or sympathy. 

“Because I’m your friend Than” she continued, patting the top of his hand. 

“Meg, what if I don’t want to be a pilot anymore?” 

She sighed, “you know I don’t know anything about that Than, I’m just a fighting instructor, maybe you should talk to Achilles” 

He knew she was right, he was just loath to admit it, or talk to anyone else. 

“But if you really want to get that anger out we can do a race around the dome” she smiled at him, she knew he couldn’t resist a competition. 

“What’s the prize?” he smiled back

“Coffee delivery for a week?”

“You’re on” and he took off running with Meg right behind him. There wasn’t much room to think when he was running and he was grateful for the quiet.

They returned to the training room, exhausted but exhilarated. Meg had won but just barely, and now Thanatos was on the hook for coffee delivery. 

He picked up his stuff and stretched, “I have to do compatibility tests tomorrow so I better go finish up on work” 

“Good luck” Meg rolled her eyes.

“You don’t like the new kids?” 

She laughed, “I think there’s some promise there, but they’re getting younger and younger and somehow that’s almost worse than the old military vets” 

“Great” Thanatos said, rolling his eyes this time. 

He paused at the door and looked back at Megara, “thanks, for everything” he said

She nodded, “you’re welcome, but don’t forget my coffee tomorrow, or we’ll do ten laps”

Thanatos fake saluted “yes ma’am” and he heard her laugh as he walked away. 

He went to his room to rinse off and change into his work jumpsuit. His nervousness about tomorrow was starting to creep up on him but work would clear his mind. His stomach reminded him he had only had a protein bar for breakfast, and it had just passed the peak lunch time, perfect. The mess would be mostly deserted and he could catch up on his work reports in relative peace. He headed towards the mess, tablet in hand. 

On the way, Thanatos paused as he heard a commotion coming from the hangar bay ahead. It seemed to be a lot of shouting and Thanatos decided to investigate. He wanted to make sure no one was hurt or needed a superior officer. He pushed through the crowd to get to the front and the source of the commotion suddenly became obvious. A shorter dark haired man was arguing with an officer, sounding like he had no credentials but had gotten on the base anyways and was demanding to see the Marshal. Thanatos felt his heart jump to his throat as he heard the man’s familiar voice. He dared to step closer and the man turned around, sensing his presence. His eyes, one red one green stared at Thanatos. He opened his mouth but Than was quicker, though he only managed one word. 

“Zagreus?!” 

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zagreus has returned??? Thanatos isn't sure what to do with himself in the wake of this new revelation

“Zagreus?!” was the only thing Thanatos managed to get out, many other things were running through his brain but those could wait. Zagreus looked as good as always, wearing his red hoodie and a backpack slung across his shoulder. 

“Than!” came the response, Zagreus stepped towards Thanatos but Than stepped back almost on instinct, he was still reeling and he wasn’t sure if he would hug Zag or punch him if he got any closer. He still couldn’t speak.

“Thanatos do you know this man?” interrupted the hangar tech Zagreus had been arguing with.

Zagreus looked towards Thanatos pleading in his eyes for Than to help him. Thanatos doubted the Marshal knew Zagreus was here, but that was just like Zag wasn’t it? To leap without looking, to just go for it.

“Yes sir, although he may have misplaced his credentials he has every right to be here” finally came his response, out of the corner of his eye he saw Zag exhale, thankful. 

The officer crossed his arms and thought for a moment, “well I can’t let someone run around here without credentials, but also the Marshal can give him credentials, and that seems to be what he wants, so I’ll escort him that way since if you recognize him he must be here for a reason” 

The officer gestured at Zagreus to follow him and he took off with a wave and a thumbs up at Thanatos. The crowd dispersed back to their positions leaving Thanatos along in the hangar bay. He was once again left in a daze, he willed his feet to continue walking towards the mess.

He took out his phone and shot a text to Meg, _ CONFIDENTAL: I just ran into Zagreus in the hangar bay  _

His phone buzzed back almost instantaneously

_ ZAGREUS?! _

_ Where are you? You ok? _

He replied as he walked into the mess which was thankfully almost deserted

_ In the mess but don’t bother, I need to go to work _

_ It might not matter, we’ll see if he’s still alive, he went to see Hades  _

He chuckled at Meg’s string of emojis which seemed to imply a particularly painful death for Zagreus and her reaction to it.

He picked at his lunch a little bit before giving up and heading down to work. The ongoing Jager restorations had always been his distraction and solace. But today, it wasn’t really working, his mind was always wandering back to Zagreus. Where had he gone and why had he suddenly returned? More importantly, why hadn’t he told Thanatos anything? 

After work he headed towards his room, quickly sneaking some food from the mess before the dinner rush, the last thing he wanted was to be awkwardly stuck at a table with Zagreus with no escape. He lit a candle, dug into his pasta and pulled up his work reports for the next day. 

There was a knock on the door but ignored it, he was reading, they could come back later. The knocking continued and he pushed his tablet to the side in frustration. He heard a faint voice on the other side. 

“Than? I uh thought we could talk or eat together or something” 

Oh, it was him.

Thanatos opened the door a crack and stuck his head out, no need for Zagreus to see his room.

Zagreus smiled when he opened the door, he tried not to smile back.

“I see you’re alive, but I’m busy” and he closed the door without waiting for a response. He watched through the peephole as Zagreus walked away, dejected. 

Thanatos slumped into his desk chair, head in his hands, oh gods what had he done. Zagreus had looked so sad walking away, but how many times had he made Thanatos feel the same way?

* * *

A couple of days passed without seeing him, but Thanatos had also done his best to avoid almost all the common areas where he could have seen Zagreus. He snuck his food from the mess and ate in his room, he didn’t attend the compatibility tests or go near the training room. His reasoning for avoiding Zagreus was complicated. He was practically bursting that Zag was back, but it almost seemed too good to be true. And he wanted Zagreus to know how he made him feel, the pain he had caused him. He had spent so much time trying to forget about Zagreus, to come to terms with the fact he wasn’t coming back. He tried to drown himself in work, pushing down any emotion he had. He thought he had done a good job of fooling everyone, but now Zagreus was back. He appeared as quickly as he had disappeared. He couldn’t just welcome him with open arms, could he?

On the fifth day Megara woke him up again, coffee in hand. 

“Let’s go, we need to talk” 

Thanatos whined at first but followed her to an outside deck where it was thankfully not raining for once. He sipped the warm coffee,staring at the ocean, waiting for Meg to speak. She was the one who had dragged him out here. 

“He asked about you yesterday when we sparred” she said leaning back against the railing.

Than choked on his coffee, burning his throat in the process.

“What did he say?”

“He asked how you had been and said he wanted to talk to you but you were ignoring him”

He nodded, that much had been true. 

“What did you tell him?” he replied hesitantly,    
  


“I told him you probably needed some time to think things over” she paused and laughed “and then I kicked his ass for you” 

Thanatos laughed back and smiled for the first time in several days. 

“Thanks, I guess” he shrugged

Meg’s expression got serious again as she looked at Than, “You have to talk to him” she said softly.

Than sighed and looked towards the ocean again. What do you say to someone who just picked up and left without even a goodbye? Not just anyone, your  _ drift partner _ . 

His phone buzzed in his pocket and his face fell as he read the email. It was from the Marshal, he wanted Zagreus and Thanatos together in the simulator tomorrow. 

He showed Meg the email, “Guess you better talk to him before tomorrow” she replied.

The rest of the day he couldn’t concentrate, he had already jumped ahead to the next day. He knew they couldn’t drift if he didn’t at least say something to Zagreus or maybe he just wouldn’t and Zagreus would have to find it all out tomorrow. 

The question was answered for him when he heard another knock on his door after work. 

“Thanatos please” came the pleading response from outside. Even just his voice brought up bile from inside Thanatos, what right did he have? 

Thanatos opened the door a crack but this time Zagreus was ready and he jammed his foot in the door. 

“Can we talk?” Zagreus demanded

Thanatos sighed, “Let me get my coat” 

Zagreus raised his eyebrow but wordlessly removed his foot from the door. 

Coat obtained, Zagreus silently followed Thanatos through the halls. At the Academy Thanatos had secret places he used to get away from everyone, and he had continued the tradition at the Shatterdome. 

Cool air rushed in as he opened the door to the rooftop, it was lit by spotlights but deserted otherwise. 

“I see you’re still finding places to hide,” Zagreus said as he rushed towards the railing to see the dark ocean. 

Thanatos hung back and crossed his arms, they weren’t here to hang out. Zagreus turned around and looked more humble than Thanatos had ever seen him. The intense energy he carried had drained out of him. He had been putting on a face in the hangar bay, Thanatos could see that now. 

“Than, I—I don’t know what I can say, but I’m sorry,” he said head low. 

“Zagreus, I thought you had died! No note, no phone! No contact for over a year!” he raised his voice, sorry wasn’t good enough for him. 

“I had to go, I had to find my mother,” Zagreus replied, raising his head to look Thanatos in the eyes. 

That shut Thanatos up, he knew how much finding his mother meant to Zagreus. He knew she had left the PPDC when he was very young, but no information about her further whereabouts had been known. 

“She’s alive?” he asked, they had both assumed the worst.

Zagreus smiled, looking back out towards the ocean, “yeah, she lives in Greece now, on the coast”

“Why—why did you come back? That was everything you wanted” Thanatos said, astounded.

Zagreus had actually done it, found his mother, gotten away from Hades, everything he told Than he dreamed about. 

“Almost everything” Zagreus corrected him quickly, he sighed “she told me I had to come back, I had to help, she said this is where I belonged” 

Than didn’t respond at first, it was all too much to take in, Zagreus’ mother, his return here. 

“You couldn’t have said anything, sent an email or something?” his voice raised in exasperation, he wouldn’t have been upset with Zagreus if he had just explained the situation. 

“I didn’t want you to get in trouble for my mistakes Thanatos, you always had a brighter future than me. The last thing I wanted was for you to lose it all because of me. And” his voice trailed off.

“You didn’t want me to stop you?” Thanatos replied knowingly, sighing as he realized. 

“Or come with me”

Thanatos leaned on the railing next to Zagreus, he looked down towards the ocean and briefly considered jumping into it instead of having this conversation.

“Zagreus, I—I don’t know what to say, I’m glad you found your mother but this doesn’t change what’s happened, what you left behind.” 

Zagreus didn’t reply, merely looked away. 

“How do I know you won’t decide you’re going to just leave again one day? I can’t take that Zag, I can’t trust you” 

Zagreus let out a long sigh looking up at Than, his mismatched eyes shining brightly, “Because I won’t, I promise Than”

“A promise isin’t enough, you’re going to have to prove it” and Thanatos walked out the door without looking back. 

* * *

  
  


Thanatos woke up the next day groggy. All night he had been having nightmares of Zagreus running away again, so he was surprised to see a text on his phone from an unknown number. 

“I’ll prove it to you I promise-Z” 

Thanatos groaned when he read it, he didn’t reply but still saved Zag’s number to his phone. 

He tried to channel some of his nervous energy into his morning run but it wasn’t fooling Megara. 

“You’re jittery as hell over there Than”

“I’ve got the simulator training with Zag today” he huffed as they jogged

She laughed “well good luck today and well if it goes bad, I’ve still got a bottle in my room we can share” 

Than managed to let out a short laugh, but he hoped he wouldn’t have to take her up on the offer. 

He found Zagreus already in an animated conversation with Skelly as he walked up to the simulator room. He was nervous, he hadn’t had a partner in over a year and Zagreus was out of practice. He worried that his anger might overcome them both. He took a deep breath as he approached the pair waving at Skelly. 

“Heyo, there you are Thanatos, you guys ready to get this great show on the road?” 

Zagreus shrugged “As ready as I’ll ever be”

Thanatos shook his head, “Inspiring confidence as always, Zagreus” 

Skelly clapped him on the back, “Don’t worry about it, you’ll be great boyo” 

Zagreus smiled at him as they accepted their helmets, but Thanatos didn’t return it. He still hadn’t fully come to terms with the fact that Zagreus was here at all. 

He took a deep breath to calm himself as he slipped the helmet over his head. 

“We’re ready to go, initiating Drift sequence in 3...2...1” 

The Drift. To every pilot it took on a different form, to Thanatos it was like standing in a cold, dark river, letting the water flow past. Every memory, every emotion, he could not stop the river. He caught glimpses of the things they had shared, the things that were Zagreus’ alone, and his own thoughts. He saw them as brief childhood friends and the elation of being reunited at the Academy. He felt a sharp pain from Zagreus’ side as he re-lived a harsh comment from Hades. Then there it was, the pain he felt when Zagreus left.The last one came crashing like a wave, barreling down the river, Thanatos stood tall by now he was used to it. He had been living with it. But Zagreus was feeling it for the first time, he momentarily stumbled from the weight.

Skelly’s concerned voice came over the comm, “you okay there boyo?”

“I’ve got it, I’ve got—it, just give me a second” came the exasperated reply. Thanatos was feeling drained himself, drifting was an exhausting task no matter how often it was done.

“Drift alignment complete” said the computerized voice and Thanatos let out a sigh of relief, at least they hadn’t lost that. 

“Okay let’s get em Than” Zagreus said, excited to be back.

Than nodded grimly, he did not share Zagreus’ enthusiasm. 

They did not in fact, get them, they only took down one kaiju out of five attempts and the last one was the least efficient drop Thanatos had ever done. They were not in sync, that much was obvious. He thought Zagreus would be in poor fighting form but he had kept up some training while he was away. Separate they had done well, together they had fallen apart. They couldn’t agree on strategy or attack patterns. 

Even Skelly didn’t have much to say as they exited the cockpit, everyone knew they had failed. Thanatos felt his heart drop as he looked to the right, Marshal Hades had seen the whole thing. 

“My office, now” he said sharply. 

Thanatos and Zagreus exchanged glances, and Thanatos felt like that was the first time they had been on the same page all day. They were about to get chewed out and Thanatos wasn’t sure whose fault it really was. 

They both took a seat as the Marshal looked out his window.

“That was the absolute worst performance I have ever seen in my time”

He didn’t turn around, and neither Zagreus or Thanatos said a word. They both knew better than to interrupt.

“Whatever is going on I want it fixed,  **now** . I need you both in a Jager. Dismissed” 

Thanatos and Zagreus both rushed out the door before he turned around.

“Well uh, that sucked” Zagreus finally said, when they were a reasonable distance away from the Marshal 

“That would be the definition of an understatement Zagreus” Thanatos replied, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. He knew he couldn’t blame Zagreus entirely, but he couldn’t help it. He walked away without waiting on Zagreus’ response. He knew Zagreus would take it as a slight, but Thanatos was actually mad at himself, he just didn’t feel like spilling his guts in front of Zag at this moment. 

He had let his anger at Zagreus take over his focus on his work. He should have known Zag would be out of practice in the simulator, he should have taken charge, been the experienced partner. But he didn’t, he refused, he wanted to make Zagreus work for it. He wanted to hurt him the way he had been hurt, but it couldn’t work that way. They had to be together, one mind. 

He threw his bag on the floor and collapsed onto his bed again, sleep quickly taking him. He woke up to a small knock again on his door. It was just past dinner time, he’d only slept about an hour. 

Out the peephole was Zagreus with a food container in his hand. Thanatos softened, just a little and opened the door. Zagreus looked apologetic, the way he had on the roof. 

“Hey, Than, I didn’t see you in the mess and I knew you were probably hungry after the simulator and they were serving your favourite bean burrito, so I brought you one, extra hot sauce” he rushed out all at once, offering one of the food containers to Than. 

Thanatos took it from Zag’s hand, surprised by the thoughtfulness.

“Thank you Zagreus” a small smile reached his lips.

Zagreus rubbed the back of his neck, “You’re welcome, hey about earlier, I’m sorry, I obviously need to be on my game better”

Thanatos paused, “no, Zagreus, it was my fault, I knew it had been a long time, I should have led better, been more—helpful”

Zagreus stared at him, he opened his mouth and closed it and opened it again.

“Oh, I—I didn’t blame you at all Than, but since you said it I’ll accept it, I uh better get back to studying, see you tomorrow!” he waved as he walked away quickly, but not quickly enough that Thanatos couldn’t see the bright red blush spreading across his cheeks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! I promise more characters will appear in the next couple of chapters, I just wanted to get Zag and Than out of the way first!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanatos needs advice so he seeks out the two people best prepared to give it to him, Patroclus and Meg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to say earlier everyone has thier mostly canonical appearance Meg is blue, Asterius is still a minotaur etc. Dusa has a body now but her head is the same :)

Thanatos walked quickly down the hall as he glanced at the time on his phone. The weekly strategy meeting should just be getting out and Than hoped he could catch Patroclus before he went on to other work. He had been his favorite professor at the Academy and if anyone could give him advice on working with a difficult partner it was him. 

Everyone in the Academy- no, the world, knew the story, Patroclus had made a daring but dangerous move on Scissure and had been injured in the process. Instead of retreating his partner Achillies continued to pilot by himself and took down the kaiju single handedly, becoming the only person to ever do so. They were celebrated as heroes, but it had cost them both of their careers. Patroclus lost his right leg due to his injuries, and Achillies could never pilot again due to the massive strain he had undertaken piloting alone. What the stories didn’t include, is that the mission nearly tore them apart. They were partners in life as well and the tension between them in the months after was whispered about in every corridor. He thought Patroclus might have some insight on how he could fix things with Zagreus. Than knew he couldn’t keep his anger up, but had no good ideas on how to dispel it once and for all.

He waved to the various heads of departments and techs that streamed out of the meeting room, he was perfectly on time. He found Patroclus sitting alone, still pouring over the meeting notes. 

“Ah, Thanatos, long time no see” he looked up and smiled as Thanatos walked over

“I’ve been very busy recently sir, but I was hoping you might have time for a word, privately?” 

“You can drop the sir, but of course I have time for you Thanatos” 

“Thank you—” 

Patroclus grabbed his crutches and they wandered down the hallways for a bit before Patroclus made a sharp turn towards the hangar bay. 

“You’ve been doing great work on those restorations recently, very quick work” he commented as they continued down the hall.

Thanatos felt himself flush a little, he was usually so caught up in his work and thoughts he forgot other people monitored his progress. 

“Oh, yes they’ve become somewhat of a passion project of mine”

Patroclus stopped near a secluded ledge overlooking the hangars, “Though I don’t think that’s what you’re here to talk to me about, is it?”

Thanatos silently shook his head, “I’m sure it was discussed in the meeting” 

“That the prodigal son has returned?”

Thanatos laughed despite himself, “that is one way of putting it I suppose”

“And you need advice?”

“If you are willing to give it”

“Well for the sake of this operation and the world, I better try my best”

Thanatos paused looking towards where the Jaegers stood silent in their bays waiting for the next opportunity. He knew Patroclus was trying to make light, but what if the world did depend on him and Zagreus? And now that he was here where should he begin?

“Were you angry with Achillies after the accident?”

Patroclus let out a whistle, “I was absolutely furious but” he shook his head “even if I had been conscious I would not have been able to stop him, he was determined, he thought he was doing the right thing and on occasion I have called him single minded”

Thanatos sighed, “Sounds like Zagreus”

“If it is not intruding may I ask what happened? The only important detail in the meeting was that he had returned”

“He left to find his mother, whom he had spent years searching for without success and he had finally gotten a lead on where she might be. Which I’m glad for, that was—difficult for him. But he did all this without telling me or saying goodbye, I woke up one day and he was gone. The next time I heard from him was seeing him here. Over a year of silence” he shrugged. It felt good to let it out to someone that knew what it was like. 

Patroclus hummed in understanding and paced for a moment. 

“And now you must remember what it is like to have him back?”

“It’s more that I need to figure out how to forgive him, I think I am holding us back, not him. He’s excited to be back, he kept up his training, he’s tried to talk to me but—”

“But you’re hurt.” Patroclus added. 

“Yeah, I accepted he was never coming back and now he just shows up—”

“And now you’re asking why”

Thanatos stopped, that was exactly it, he needed to know why.

Patroclus smirked at him, a memory returning to him, “I know because that’s what I asked Achilies when he came to see me after the accident, well first I kissed him and then I said why the fuck did you do that?!”

Thanatos laughed, “What did he say?”

“He looked surprised that I even asked, like the answer was obvious, for you, he said, I did it all for you”

“For you” Thanatos repeated softly, he was slowly putting the pieces together. He thought back to the Drift. The memories of them together at the Academy, sparring, studying, hanging out, those were among the brightest from Zag’s side. He had seen glimpses of Zagreus in Greece, but now that he concentrated he looked sad, lost almost.

“He said he came back because his mother told him to, she said he belonged here”

“He does, he belongs here with you”

“It still hurts—” 

“It will for a while, it will pass eventually, but know that you would have never been able to change his mind, so there is no use dwelling on the past” 

“Achilies wouldn’t take it back?”

“Not for a instant, and I suspect Zagreus will give you the same answer”

Thanatos nodded, even if he didn’t like it he knew Patroclus was right. Zagreus was not one for regrets. 

“Thanks for the advice, I—I have a lot to think about”

“It is what I’m here for” Patroclus smiled “I think you know what to do now”

“I sure hope so, for all our sakes”

* * *

The next day Zagreus found Thanatos sitting in the far corner of the mess studying his tablet with lunch. 

“Can I sit here?”

Thanatos shrugged, internally he was surprised Zagreus even asked, but he honestly didn’t care either way.

“Sure”

They sat in awkward silence as Zagreus scarfed down his spaghetti, Thanatos wasn’t sure if Zagreus actually wanted to sit here or if he just wanted to avoid the awkward questioning he would find at any other table. 

He glanced up as Zagreus cleared his throat and started rummaging in his bag for something.

“Than, I uh got you something from Greece, Mother, I mean Persephone helped me make it” 

He didn’t respond as he accepted the hastily wrapped package from Zagreus’ hand. He let out a small gasp as he unwrapped it and turned it over in his hands. It was a large purple butterfly, well but not expertly prepared in a simple frame. 

“For your collection” Zagreus added as Thanatos continued to stare.

“It’s beautiful” Thanatos mused, “you prepared it?” 

“Well I caught it, and Peresphone helped me fix it up in the frame, but she let me do most of it!” Zagreus said proudly. 

“Tha—Thank you Zagreus” Thanatos responded with a rare smile, Zagreus had stood up and was beaming with pride. This was the happiest he had looked since he’d arrived. 

“You’re welcome Than” he beamed, “I’ve gotta go, but catch you later” he said standing up and grabbing his tray.

Thanatos managed a small wave as Zagreus walked away, he was overwhelmed by Zag’s thoughtfulness. 

He walked back to his room after lunch and sat at his desk, knees to his chest turning the gift over in his hands. Zagreus had obviously been thinking of him even while he was away. Patroclus words echoed in his head “For you, I did it all for you” He hadn’t thought of what Zagreus might have felt half a world away in Greece. Not daring to make contact, had Hades been looking for him?

Something Thanatos hadn’t considered popped into his head, Zagreus had—missed him. It was becoming increasingly obvious to him now, but before, he was so blinded by his own rage he hadn’t even considered Zagreus’ point of view. He glanced at the butterfly again, a deeply personal gift. Not just a throwaway souvenir. His heart twinged in a strange way as he admired the butterfly fondly, it felt like something had changed between them. He considered that maybe this could be a new start between them. 

His phone buzzed, surprising him. He exhaled when he saw it was just Meg.

_“Wanna finally share that bottle tonight?”_

He let out a soft laugh, he had forgotten all about Meg’s promise from a few days ago, but he definitely could use a night off. 

“ _Gods please_ ”

* * *

“You made it!” Meg exclaimed as she opened the door. Her hair was down and she had already changed into pajamas. He could smell popcorn already made as he walked inside, Meg always pulled out all the stops. 

“Of course” Thanatos rolled his eyes, like he had ever missed one of Meg’s night off invites.

“I was worried you were going to be too busy brooding over Zagreus in your room” she laughed at him pulling out a bottle from under her desk.

Thanatos huffed as he settled in his favorite chair, “I’m fine Meg”

“That huff didn’t sound fine”

“Fine, he gave me a gift at lunch today, from Greece” 

“Ohhhh, what was it?” Meg asked curiously as she pushed a plastic cup into Than’s hand.

“A butterfly that he caught and prepared _himself”_

Meg took a deep drink from her cup and Thanatos followed suit, letting the slow warmth flow through him.

“What is this stuff? It’s dangerously good” he asked

Meg turned over the bottle, “Uh it says, Dionysus’ Ambrosia” she shrugged “it was new at that little corner shop so why not”

Than was already taking another drink, he really needed to relax more often he thought.

“Anyways, he got you a butterfly?! Than that’s—that’s so thoughtful. I know how much your collection means to you” her voice trailed off in surprise.

“Yeah, I didn’t think he had it in him either. I guess it never occurred to me that he could _miss_ me, Meg”

She smirked at him over the top of her cup, a silent laugh in her eyes. Thanatos narrowed his eyes, annoyed. 

“What’s with the smirk? First Patroclus, now you, I feel like there’s a joke I’m missing” 

She laughed out loud this time as she settled into sitting on the bed, “Oh Than, you and Zagreus are” she paused, “funny”

“Funny?” he said incredulous 

“I’m sure Patroclus sees it too, at the Academy, you never fully trusted each other, always dancing circles around each other, both too afraid to just _talk._

Thanatos sat silently, taking a sip from his cup as he considered what Meg had said. Did he trust Zag? He found he couldn’t come to an answer, maybe the alcohol was to blame. 

“You thought he didn’t miss you!? He’s your best friend your _partner_ , Than come on, of course he missed you” she insisted.

“But—but he _left_ ”

“Yeah, and that was stupid and you should be mad, hell I’m mad at him about that. But he came _back_ Thanatos, we both know Zagreus doesn't do anything anyone tells him to do, he does what he wants. He definitely didn’t come back to see Hades that’s for sure” she paused to drink again, “the only option left is that he came back for you”

“Ugh, I hate that you’re right, you and Patoclus both”

She laughed into her cup, relishing in her victory. “So what are you going to do now?”

“I guess I’ll talk to him tomorrow, apologize, try to fix it”

“Good, I don’t like to see you brooding, this was supposed to be fun! Now do you want to watch a movie or hear the latest gossip I got from Dusa?” 

“Hmmmm gossip then movie” Thanatos downed the last of his cup “if we make it that far” he laughed

“Okay so yesterday Dusa told me she had a delivery down to the labs” Meg said as she refilled Thanatos’ cup. He hummed approvingly.

“And she thinks she ran into those scientists kissing” 

Thanatos struggled not to laugh and spit at the same time, “Asterius and that weird kaiju guy oh what's his name?” 

“Theseus, the one always saying the kaiju are demons from the deep and calling then blackguards for some reason?”

Than rolled his eyes, the few occasions he had met Thesus had been awful, the man was completely full of himself and never knew when to shut up. 

“Yes that one, wait did she actually _see_ them kissing?”

“She said the door was open a little bit so she just walked in but then she heard them talking because you knoooow how loud Theseus is, and he was like “oh my sweet Asterius” and she heard a kissing noise so she walked back out waited a couple minutes, knocked on the door and heard them run to their sides of the lab and they looked very flustered, especially Theseus she said” 

“Oh my god they were kissing weren’t they?”

Meg laughed, “and I thought it was weird they were friends at all”

“I just feel like Asterius could do better, Thesus is so annoying” 

She shrugged “One man’s trash is another mans ... I mean bull … bullmans? Treasure."

Than drank again thinking, he was definitely starting to feel the effects in a pleasant hazy way.

“What do you think Thesus sounds like having sex?” he pondered out loud, laughing when it was Meg’s turn to do a spit take. “Does he just talk about how great he is at it the whole time?” he continued since Meg was laughing too hard to contribute. He mustered up his best impression, “Oh Asterius would you not agree that I am the best giver of sex in this entire operation! No one can match my stamina—” 

“Thanatos! Stop I’m fucking dying” Meg wheezed out almost spilling her drink.

The imagined exploits of Theseus and Asterius continued long into the night becoming more and more grand until the participating members collapsed from exhaustion and inebriation. 

* * *

Thanatos woke up the next day with a blazing headache, like he usually did after hanging with Meg. He chugged some water and took some pain pills to cope. Luckily it was his weekend, he had some work to catch up on but he could take his time. He pulled out his phone and stared at Zag’s contact. He knew he should talk to him but what would he even say. His phone went back into his pocket and he headed over to the mess to actually eat something. 

“THAAAAAANATOS!!!!” called out a voice across the mess as Than turned around with his tray, he winced at his brother’s enthusiastic call, but walked over to meet him. Hypnos was sitting to the side with the largest coffee cup possible in his hands. Not that it would do him any good, Thanatos knew better. He was convinced his brother was immune to caffeine but that didn’t stop Hypnos from trying every new kind available to him in excessive amounts. 

“Hey Hypnos” he sat down across from him, giving him a small smile. 

“Thanatos! I haven’t seen you in ages, I know you’re busy but you should really come down to requisitions more often, I’ve been doing really great work, even Mom said so!” he said excitedly. 

Thanatos poured syrup on his pancakes as he listened to his brother ramble on about his job and whatever new requisition drama had happened. He was happy Hypnos was doing better, but as the most talkative of his siblings he could only stand it so long. 

“I saw Zagreus in the hallway yesterday actually!”

Thanatos nodded with his mouth full.

“I’m sure you’re excited he’s back”

“Thrilled” 

“Well, he looked excited to be back so maybe he could help you out with that!” Hypnos continued, returning Than’s sarcasm. 

“Do you need any more help with work?” Than asked, desperate to change the subject.

“Oh nope! I’m doing great ever since you said I could make lists just for me! And they started letting me leave early so I don’t fall asleep at my desk anymore!” 

“That’s—that’s great Hypnos!” a note of pride fell into Than’s voice. 

“Thanks Thanatos! It means a lot coming from you, my only complaint is that you never come down anymore, so more work to be done!” 

“I’ll try harder” he answered earnestly, he knew he should spend time with Hypnos and with their mother, but there always seemed to be more work to be done. 

Hypnos dove back into his well of never ending work stories as Than finished his breakfast, and for once Thanatos appreciated he wasn’t expected to respond. 

“It was great catching up with you here ,Than but promise you’ll come see me sometime? Pleaaaasseeee?” he gave Thanatos his best puppy dog eyes.

“I promise I’ll come by when I’m less busy”

“Aw man that means never! I know how you are Than, work, work, work, all the tiiiiiiime” 

“I will try to come by sooner, or see you here again” 

“Okay, okay I’m gonna hold you to that!” Hypnos said excitedly as he got up from the table, leaving Thanatos alone again. 

Than’s phone buzzed on the table as he started to clean up.

_Hey can I talk to you about something?_

His breath caught in his throat, it was Zagreus, what did he want?

 _Right now?_ He replied

_If you’re free, I’m at your secret spot_

_Not much of a secret I guess, now I gotta find a new one_

_Sorry not sorry_

_I’ll be up soon_

The conversations he had with Patroclus and Meg ran through his head as he grabbed his coat and headed up the stairs, he had so much he wanted to say but that would have to wait. He needed to see what Zagreus wanted first. 

He climbed on the roof to see Zagreus feeding the sea gulls and talking to them?

“Hey now you’ve gotta share I’ve only got so much” he heard faintly from Zag’s direction.

“I see you’ve found new friends” he announced trying not to laugh.

“Hey Than” Zagreus replied, his back to Than handing out the last few morsels in his hand. 

Than stretched as he looked out towards the city across the water from them, it was a clear day, perfect for watching the ships go by, which he sometimes did on the weekends.

“Am I gonna have to find a new secret spot or are you going to find your own?”

“Aw we can’t share Than?” Zagreus said joining him by the railing, teasing.

“That defeats the purpose of a secret spot” 

“Don’t worry you can keep this one, just haven’t found my own yet” 

“How kind of you” 

They stood in silence for a few moments, entranced by the ocean, Thanatos was trying to let Zagreus go at his own pace, he was the one that called him up in the first place. 

“Thanatos?” Zagreus finally said

“Yes?” Zagreus hardly ever used his full name, this must be serious then. 

“The—Drift, yeah the Drift” there was a sad note to Zagreus’ voice he hardly ever heard.

“What—about it?”

“It hurt, it hurt so fucking bad Than, that’s—that’s how you felt?! When I left? I thought you would have figured it out, but I was so _naive”_ he started pacing, Thanatos could see the tears welling in his eyes.

“It’s all I’ve been able to think about Than, that I hurt you like that, that you mourned for me, that you thought I wasn’t coming back, no wonder you thought I didn’t care, what—what would I have done? I’m surprised you didn’t just slap me that first day” 

“I almost did” 

“Heh, probably should have honestly, I deserved it, but I—I know I said I was sorry earlier and you said you didn’t trust me, and I didn’t understand at the time. To me it was obvious—” 

“That you came back because of me?” Than interrupted, it wasn’t entirely Zagreus' fault. He too had let his emotions get in way of the facts. 

“Yeah! Yeah, wait—” 

“You could say I’ve been doing some thinking of my own the last few days” 

“You mean having drinks with Megara” 

Than rolled his eyes, “we are friends you know, that’s what friends do, but I also spoke to Patroclus if you must know that I actually got seasoned advice as well” 

Zag chuckled and his face turned serious again, “Yeah, I came back because of you”

“Did Hades know?”

“Nope, that was probably the best part; but to assure you—yes, I made all these decisions on my own. Persephone encouraged me to come back but I actually made the choice myself, because I wanted to come back I wanted to see you again, you’re my best friend Than”

When Zagreus said friend, he felt his heart wince again like it had with the butterfly. But why, they had always been friends, best friends even. There was that difference again, something was changing. 

He felt Zag’s warm arms wrap around his chest before he realized the other man was pulling him in for a hug, and he slowly lifted his arms to return the favor. Zagreus smelled faintly like pomegranates, something Thanatos had never noticed before, but could not ignore now. 

Zagreus’ tears were wet on Than’s cheek before he noticed Zagreus was sobbing into his chest. 

“All I can say is I’m sorry Thanatos, but I understand if you don’t forgive me, we can make it work somehow no matter what happens” he said quietly

Thanatos stood silently for several moments, his arms still around Zagreus, letting him release it all. He waited until Zagreus went still in his arms before speaking.

“I forgive you Zagreus, I truly do. I’m ready to be partners again, for everyone's sake” and he meant it. He couldn’t hold a grudge if he wanted to be a great Jaeger pilot and if he was being honest he had missed having Zagreus around. He wanted to start again, he wanted his friend back. 

“Thanks—thanks Than” came the muffled reply 

They broke apart and Zagreus had a huge smile on his face as he wiped away his tears. 

“You know what this means Than? It’s about time we kick some Kaiju ass!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated! As always I can't predict my writing schedule so no promises on when the next update will happen but I hope you chose to stick around! You can also subscribe so you don't miss it, whenever it happens. You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/saucykaiju) or on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loveaintforkeeping)!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it! Kudos and comments are always appreciated, especially on this one! Pacific Rim is one of my main fandoms, so apologies if some of the lore is confusing or not obvious. I don't have a schedule for regular updates but I am determined to finish it soon so go ahead and hit that subscribe button up there to know when it updates! You can also find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/saucykaiju) or on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/loveaintforkeeping)!


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